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TOP TEN WAYS OF GETTING A WIFE ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE

10. Purchase a piece of property and get a woman as part of the deal.
--Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

9. Find a prostitute and marry her.
--Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3)

8. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.
--Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)

7. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head,
trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.
--Deuteronomy (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

6. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one
and carry her off to be your wife.
--Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

5. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will
cost you a rib.
--Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)

4. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage.
Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven
years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's
right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman.
--Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)

3. Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though.)
--David (2 Samuel 11)

2. Wait for your brother to die. Take his wife. (It's not just a good
idea, it's the law.)
--Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)

And the best way to Biblically acquire a wife,
1. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have
seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your
decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."
Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

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Description:	...according to the bible.
Date:	Mar 22, 2007 11:58am
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Submitted By:	t-bolt
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Tags:	ways, wife, jokes, stuff, bible, other stuff, according, jokes & stuff, &

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